The Pink Army
by ShinyKendo
Summary: Puffster has always dreamed of being the commander of an army, one strong enough to rule the entire world. She may be cunning and deceptive, but with dedicated enemies and near-incompetent soldiers can she really succeed?
1. Chapter One: An Army is Formed!

Chapter One: An Army is Formed!

Ever since her birth, Puffster the Jigglypuff had high aspirations. She didn't just want to be rich or famous; she wanted to rule the world. And if she had assembled a powerful army, who would stop her?  
Every day the pink puffball would go to Beach Cave and train for hours upon hours. Fighting hordes of Shellos and Kabuto eventually brought her to her physical limits, what they call **level one hundred.** She was sure she was now unbeatable, however overconfident that thought may have been.  
Every night she would continue construction on the underground army base. After all, an army base was completely exposed if over ground, right? Her sweat, blood and perseverance eventually created a massive underground networking, hidden only by a manhole cover. Puffster only hoped that the Diglett wouldn't find their way in.  
She had even thought of a name for it: the **Pink Army.**

But for several years, she had never come across another Igglybuff, Jigglypuff _or_ Wigglytuff (other species sickened her, and she refused them). That would all change one breezy summer morning...

Blissey was tending to eggs left by other Pokemon for her daycare services. The jolly pink thing was tucking a bright-red egg into a pouch on her stomach, humming a peppy tune. "Don't go anywhere!" she joked, pointing to the other eggs. "Tee hee!" As she left the tent (which looked almost exactly like her), Puffster poked her fluffy head out from behind a bush. She held a pair of binoculars in her nubby little hands.

_Idiot fat lady, talking to herself,_ she thought, grimacing. _She disgusts me, talking when nobody cares about whatever she says._ Today Puffster thought of what turned out to be an obvious solution: adopt a child. She had looked into the tent for the past eight days, but couldn't spot a pink, swirly-marked egg. Maybe today there was one. There had to be one. Of course, that's the only reason why I didn't write about the other times she looked.

So obviously the egg was there, sitting against a plushy pillow. Puffster swiftly leaped onto a desk, an angry puffy face forced upon her cute little body. She delicately grabbed the egg, which was over half her size. How could someone like her have _possibly_ laid an egg the size of _that_!? Whatever. She hopped out as fast as she had gone in and dashed into the army base.

Puffster laid the egg in her somehow-stolen oven to warm it. Don't worry, she only set it onto its lowest setting. In only days it hatched into a smiling baby Igglybuff, its red eyes huge and its tuft of hair unkempt. She was named Private (or Pvt., for short) Puff, for being a private, and also being very puffy.

Pvt. Puff always obeyed her mother's commands, never questioning them. She cleaned the humongous base, prepared the food, did other chores and what-not. For some reason she would never evolve, no matter how much Puffster showed her affection. Did Puffster truly have any love to give? Despite this setback, she decided to let Pvt. Puff try battling for once by the time she seemed capable..

"Well, Puff," she said in her squeaky, not-at-all-commanding voice one day, "I think it is time you tried battling other Pokemon. After all, I cannot fend off enemy armies or teams myself."

Puff was dusting off a cabinet made out of rough stone, while standing on a ladder made out of rough stone. "Well, okaaay," she said in an even squeakier voice.

And that was that.

"This is Beach Cave." Puffster pointed to a rocky cavern lying on the beach. It looked dark and despairing, but Pvt. Puff didn't seem to mind. "Go on. Fight."

Equipped with a trusty broom, the Igglybuff warily entered. Spinning the broom around extremely fast, she knocked out enemy horseshoe crabs left and right! Whenever the Omanyte ganged up on her, she would jump-kick two of them at a time! When a Shellos stole her broom, her lovely song, trademark of their breed, would put it to sleep so she could reclaim it! All was going according to plan...

_End of Chapter-_

NO! That was only in Puffster's imagination. She _hoped_ that Puff's skills were that awesome. After all, she WAS her child. To not have a capable child would bring shame on her part. And what were the chances of her finding another egg? Breeding was out of the question for her. Even if she found another egg, she remembered the hard work that went into raising the private. Did she _really_ want to go through that again?

Meanwhile, inside of the cave...

Puff couldn't see. Even if light streamed in not far from the dark entrance, she couldn't see. Probably because she was ignorantly holding the broom in front of her face. As she walked cautiously forward, the wooden handle scraped along the rocks and hit a Kabuto's brown shell. It immediately retaliated, grabbing the broomstick and slamming her on the ground with surprising strength and speed.

"Ow!" She looked into the thing's eerie red eyes, surprised she could now see clearly, then merely let go of the broom. The Kabuto proceeded to eat it, pushing it into its black core. The private then remembered something Puffster had taught her: the element of surprise.

_"When your enemy is distracted by something else, that is your time to attack. Sneak up from behind, then strike. It is especially easy for a light-footed Igglybuff like you...or a light-footed Jigglypuff like me...anyways, if you cannot surprise them that easily, simply charm them or sing to them..."_

That was all Pvt. Puff remembered. It was probably enough. She carefully set her foot atop the shell again. The Pokemon turned around quickly, looking even more vicious than before. Puff fell backwards, stunned by this. "I'm not attacking you!" she lied, and the prehistoric Pokemon calmed down once again. Then she began to sing, "SINNNNNNGGGGGG!" It was hardly a song at all. Kabuto turned around again.

"...Is that really your idea of killing me?" it asked in a surfer-dude-like voice.

"You can talk?" Her eyes widened.

"Yeah. Your loud and obnoxious singing voice has helped me learn the error of my ways. I've lived here for a while, and tried to kill any trespassers that step on me. Now I realize that saying 'Hey! Get off of me!' is enough. Thanks, Igglybuff!"

"O-okay?" First of all, her name wasn't Igglybuff. Second, wasn't she supposed to defeat him in combat, not help him? Maybe helping counted as a knockout?

As Kabuto crawled out of the cave, his legs going fast but barely carrying him forward, Puffster caught him by his supposed neck, her face puffier and angrier than ever before.

"WHY DID YOU NOT **KILL** THIS POKEMON!?!?" she screeched.

"I-I couldn't! I tried singing, but-"

"She showed me the error of my ways!"

"MY ARMY IS NOT PEACEFUL! We have aspirations of taking over the world. You remember that, yes?" Puff nodded. "If we resorted to peaceful methods, how do you think everyone else would act towards it?"

"They would revolt!" Pvt. Puff was trained to answer this on command.

"Correct! And we cannot risk that, knowing how many other powerful creatures there are out there."

"Do I have to fight?!"

It was the first time the private had questioned her mother. Puffster was startled by this, unknowingly pausing for a moment and choking poor Kabuto even harder. "Well...if you're going to do such a HORRIBLE job as this attacking...no, you do not."

"Well...thanks."

"Erm...your welcome." _Where did she learn that language from?_ Ignoring the thought, she punched Kabuto in the face and tossed him into the ocean. "With a punch like that he'll never remember...well, back to the army base. Come, private." She grabbed Puff by the hand and proceeded to walk back to the manhole cover.

_End of Chapter One_


	2. Chapter Two: Long Title!

Chapter Two: No, I Am Not a Lord of the Rings Fan!

It was nighttime outside of Treasure Town. A Bagon carried the horseshoe crab in his arms, barely managing to keep his short arms up. The blue dinosaur stood near a manhole cover, the very one that led to the Pink Army base. "This is it," Kabuto clarified, eyes sparkling. "I saw them going in here!"

"Alright, then," replied Bagon in a gravelly voice. "Frodo!"

A Larvitar, about his height, seemed to poof into existence right in front of him. "Yes, sir!" he said, as if the Bagon were an army general.

"This is our entrance. Proceed with caution." His eyes flattened out into slits.

"Yes, sir!" The rock-skinned dragon tossed the cover away noisily, then leaped in carelessly.

"Wait, no! Freddy, wait here!" The Bagon set Freddy the Kabuto on the grass before diving in after Frodo.

After a tunnel about ten feet deep, Frodo landed on a plushy pink rug, releasing dust and making him cough. As he got back up, he realized that around him was a massive underground cavern, fully furnished with basic items such as a pink couch, some pink cabinets, a pink oven, a toaster, and some other things that would never have possibly been able to fit. Maybe _he'd_ like to live here.

"FRODO, YOU IDIOT!!!" Bagon landed on the Larvitar family's trademark head spike, then sent both of them onto the rug again. "JUST JUMPING IN IS A TERRIBLE PLAN!!!"

"Sorry, Bilbo…I just wanted to help the lair…"

"It's alright…but DON'T DO IT ANYMORE."

"Yes, sir."

All of this discussion awakened a certain Private Puff, who was sleeping in a crib even though she was no longer much of a baby. Her eyes were pulled open, cracked and riddled with red lines from lack of sleep, much different and scarier than they normally were. "Huh…..?" she moaned. She squeezed her rubbery body through the wooden bars, then bounced out. "Ow! Ow! Ouch!" Puff dreaded the rough terrain of the base, but she also dreaded uncontrollably bouncing, and especially hated the two together. She eventually slowed to a halt, and got back onto her feet.

"Which way do you suspect the bedrooms are, sir?"

"Hmm…how should I know?"

The voices were getting quieter, but were obviously noticeably closer now that she walked behind the doorway.

She silently entered the room and asked, "Um, why are you here?" The room fell silent. "S-state your business."

"Oh, uhh, could we see the Jigglypuff who runs this place?" requested Bilbo.

"Your business with her?"

"Well, we just want to talk to her-"

"About nearly killing a Kabuto, sir." Frodo saluted, for some reason.

_I'm not a sir…_ A tear developed in Puff's eye. "I'll see what I can do."

Soon, a cranky and tired Jigglypuff was brought in. "What, what is it?" Puffster asked, rubbing one eye. She was so tired, she wouldn't even resort to beating these kids up right away, the reaction she expected out of herself.

"What is this place, exactly?"

"Why do you ask?"

"We're in a team, and…..we just…..wanted to know who our allies and enemies are!" Bilbo wasn't sure how to get the information he needed out of her.

"Name yours."

"Well, in that case, we're from the Dragon's Lair!" The Bagon smiled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Then we are the Pink Army. Now go away."

"Wait!" Frodo pulled Bilbo off of the rocky ladder that led to the surface. "A Kabuto tells us that you tossed it carelessly into the ocean after gripping him by the neck! Is this true?" He demanded she speak.

_He still remembers that? Oh no. Looks like I'm in trouble,_ she thought sarcastically. _Oh. Wait. This could be a dream. Which means I can give them the right information and be safe. But what if it's not a dream? Oh, the conundrum is **killing** me!_

"ANSWER ME!!"

"Alright, alright. We only use peaceful methods. That Kabuto must have hallucinated."

"H-he's really old! And prehistoric!" Puff blurted out. "You can't expect him to have perfect memory!"

"Correct. And I suggest you leave now, or I have to resort to battle."

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!"

"Come on, Frodo. Let's go." The two sighed, nearly in unison, then climbed up the ladder to modern civilization.

The duo entered a cave, one of the smaller ones in the Dragon's Lair networking. Still, it was roomy and could house about twenty or thirty Pokemon. The Dragon Soldiers, regardless of letter rank, stayed here. Bilbo was talking to a blue, serpentine Dragonair just inside about last night.

"…the Kabuto knows what he saw. That Jigglypuff couldn't have good intentions, I _swear._ Her tone was that of an evil mastermind! How could someone like that only use peaceful methods?"

"I know how you feel," Kaori replied solemnly. "Once a Pachirisu almost gnawed my tail off."

_A tail?_ Bilbo started to ponder where her tail started and the body began. "Well, that's odd…like a crime ring leader who isn't the stereotypical Honchkrow. Anywho, this team could be VERY dangerous. Do you have any ideas about how I could prove their evil?"

"Do you have to?"

"It's practically our duty!" the Larvitar butted in. "They pose a threat to our peaceful lair! We have to build a strong defense! We should form an alliance, or destroy them here and now!"

"Whatever you do, I won't be helping."

"YOU WON'T!?!?"

"Sorry, Bilbo. It's just that I want to enter the drawing competition this week and I've barely even thought of what egg to draw. So, good luck." She squiggled away.

_Dragonair can draw?_ Bilbo pondered a second question.

Puffster entered Beach Cave once again. She walked through as usual, thinking over the usual enemy tactics. _They throw mud at you, they harden their shells, then they strike…_ She stepped on a Kabuto, which reared its menacing head at her. She proceeded to knock the living daylight out of it by slamming it against the ground to her opposite side, with all of the power and speed you'd expect from a level one hundred. Its shell cracked, and it lay there to, presumably, faint and/or die.

Bilbo and Frodo hid behind some rocks. Apparently they figured she'd come here, which was a pretty good prediction. "She's attacking!" Bilbo whispered. "_Get the camera!_"

"Yes, sir!" the ignorant Larvitar boomed.

"Hunh?" The Jigglypuff turned around but saw nothing unusual. "Meh." She continued to walk.

Bilbo headbutted him square in the chest, his gray crest somehow harder than Frodo's rough skin. "Anything else that loud and I'll kill – uh, make you faint."

"Yikes!" he squeaked, fumbling somewhat with their video camera. It was a recent bit of technology found mysteriously on the beach, then reproduced by Xatu Industries. Hence the Xatu head on the side of the camera.

Puffster punched a pink little Shellos in the squishy stomach, pulled an Omanyte from its shell, and stabbed a Gastrodon multiple times with a stalagmite she ripped from the cave. It was all caught on camera, along with a bunch of other gruesome deaths.

"That should be enough. Now let's go play it," Bilbo suggested.

Just outside, they replayed the video, only to find that the images were too dark to actually _see._ "Oh, shiz!" Frodo near-cursed in what I suppose was an endearing manner. "It's too dark."

"We can always go in and take another video, you know."

"Oh, right, sir." A sudden tidal wave somehow snatched only the video camera from the Larvitar's hands, but not anyone else on the beach. "Crap, sir."

"Curses! It'll take forever to raise enough money and/or Dragon Points to buy a new one of those!"

"Curse our fate!"

"You're not helping. You know that, right, Frodo?"

"Now that you've told me, yeah…"

"Ah, forget this crap! How about we come again after a long while, go home and get some cookies?"

"Works for me!"

That was how the Dragon's Lair intersected with the Pink Army…and how they might intersect again.

_End of Chapter Two_


	3. Chapter Three: The Third Member!

Chapter Three: The Third Member!

Puffster returned to the base one day, after supposedly posting advertisements on trees. Today, she was coming back with something else.

"Hello, my lord!" Private Puff greeted, happily dusting off the neatly-placed books on the stone cabinet. "Puffster-dono, what's behind your back?" She didn't question how she got down the ladder so easily with just one hand; after all, she WAS a level one hundred.

"Try to stop reading my manga, my servant. 'My lord' is fine, thanks." Puffster calmly walked towards the oven.

Pvt. Puff gasped. "Using the oven!? You've hardly used it! And - - that's how you had me!"

"Correct." She inserted another Igglybuff egg, placing it on top of a tin tray and setting the oven to 120 degrees.

"YOU'RE HAVING A BABY! AAAHHHHH…" She nearly swooned. Then she zoomed close to the oven and started asking random annoying questions. "Does it have a name? When does it hatch? Does it look like me? Did I look like it? Will it get too hot? Did I get too hot? Will it-"

"No, it's not named yet. I named you after careful consideration and deep thought, did I not?" Which was a lie, since naming someone "Puff" normally doesn't take too long, nor did she think on it for so long. "It'll hatch in a few days, it looks like you, you looked like it, it won't get too hot and neither did you. No more questions."

"But will it be a boy?"

"NO MORE QUESTIONS." As Puffster retreated to her room, Pvt. Puff gazed in awe at the egg in the oven. Was she really that small, four inches shorter than she was that day? A bunch of other mysteries of life entered her mind. How was the egg made? Where did Puffster find it? How did Puffster find it? Who made the egg? Where did HER egg come from? If only she'd asked some different questions, but if Puffster demanded otherwise, so it shall be…

Surprisingly, the egg hatched in only about twelve hours that night. Puffster figured out she'd accidentally set the oven temperature to 180 degrees. Whoops, my mistake, she thought, hoping maybe it would yield a better warrior. This Igglybuff was incredibly similar to Puffster, as was just about anyone else of the species. The private loomed over it as the mother held the baby in her rounded hands.

Puff gasped. "The BABY!! AAAHHHHH…" At her words, the baby glanced at her, but was quickly amused by the sight of a nearby couch.

"What shall we name this child?"

Puff gasped again. "You mean you still haven't decided on its name!?"

"No, I haven't, private. Do you have any ideas?"

She began blurting out random names. "Sammy! Persimmon! Betty!"

"Those are terrible names," she replied bluntly.

Maybe Puffster had an obsession with puffiness? After all, they BOTH had "Puff" in their names. "Puffie? Puffykins? Pufftown? Puff-"

"STOP. JUST STOP. I have already decided your names are rubbish and will not be useful to me."

"Bu -but- -b-but…" Tears shimmered in her eyes, seemingly expanding. The other Igglybuff only glanced at her again, and then let its mind wander again. "I-it can't live without a name! You yourself told me I only began to develop a personality after you'd named me!"

"Don't get too emotional. On the other hand, please do. I believe that being raised in harsh situations makes one mentally stronger."

Being overdramatic, Puff cried into her hands, her sobbing painfully loud and obnoxious. Just like her singing voice! Puffster and the baby seemed to only ignore her as they went into some other room.

For Puffster, raising this child was almost exactly like raising Private Puff, only Puff was always hanging over her shoulder this time around. When Puffster was telling her (yes, it was female) stories about her in Beach Cave, Puff would listen in. When she was outside experiencing stuff, Puff would beg to come along. With all of this attention (if one considers that a lot), the thing didn't even have a name, and hardly spoke anyways.

One day, when Puffster was reluctantly hugging the child on the couch, it started glowing! "WHAAAAA!?!?" Puffster shouted, as white light beamed from the Pokemon's body.

Pvt. Puff, who was still over her shoulder, gasped. "HUG POWER!!!" she cheered, raising her supposed fist.

"Shut up! It's not hug power…it's evolution."

"Evo-?" the glowing Igglybuff inquired, using its voice for once. It soon metamorphosised into a grown Jigglypuff, which looked almost exactly like Puffster! She put her adopted child back down, who just stood and stared at herself.

"Evolution!?" Puff had never heard of this! "So - - so I could become a Jigglypuff like you two!?"

"Theoretically. But since it's been so long I doubt you ever will-" Her lip quivered. The salty tears in her eyes grew large. The private ran to her room, sobbing into her hands. Puffster did a facepalm, shaking her head. "Come on, Rhino-"

"Rhino!?" Now was a horrible time for her to get a name! "A name?" she asked, using her voice more if only to hear herself speak. "And why that name?"

"No questions. You are now Rhino. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Let us go check on Puff." She tugged on Rhino's arm and brought her tone of the last rooms in the hallway, before it turned a corner.

Puff cried into the pillow in her crib, crying loud and obnoxiously as expected. "W-why won't I evolve!?" she shouted to nobody in particular. "I'm the only Igglybuff here! I-I could've b-become-" She looked up and saw the two in the doorway. "Y-y- - please go away right now."

"Will an inspirational speech calm you down?" Puffster asked, sounding as professional as ever.

"…I-it would make me feel better about myself…"

"Private Puff, you are perfectly fine as you are. Everybody is unique. Peer pressure should never get you down, or make you feel worse about yourself. The truth is, Igglybuffs are better at some things than Jigglypuffs, or even Wigglytuffs. For example…..err…..you're very elastic, moreso than any other Pokemon."

"You really think so!?" Puff's eyes sparkled with inspiration.

"Yes. I really think so. And in stealthy situations, you are much softer and lighter than many, so you can go undetected."

"Is that true!?!?"

"Would I lie to you?" Of course she would. "Feeling better now?"

"Uh-huh!" All of her tears were instantly gone, somehow!

Phew. Dodged that bullet. "Now that that's over with, I'm going to go out and do…stuff. You watch Rhino here."

"Wha…?"

End of Chapter Three


	4. Chapter Four: Lupo

The Clefable, wrapped up in a long red scarf, bid his tearful farewell. In the midst of violent snow, he placed the egg into some bushes nearby. "Lupo!" he cried, still trying desperately to brave the pounding winds against him. The snow swiftly pushed him off his feet, and sent the fairy flying off to his unfortunate grave. The Igglybuff would have to survive on its own.

Chapter Four: Lupo

Puffster and Rhino were posting papers on trees, the better to advertise their army. Even if it was meant to be a complete secret, a little advertisement couldn't hurt, right? Actually, these were supposedly advertising a singing competition that wouldn't bore people to sleep, but it was obviously for the army.

Something caught Rhino's eye. Something small and pink in the trees. "Look!" she gasped a bit overdramatically, pointing but not going after it.

Her mother looked just in time to see it run by them. "Huh?" she asked nobody in particular. "Well, go catch the thing! Gawd, it's like I have to command your every action here!" She sighed.

Rhino nodded, dashing into the patch of trees they saw it in. The Igglybuff may have been fast, but she was faster, and Rhino caught it by the leg, hopping off of a tree. The Igglybuff proceeded to fall on its face.

"Wha!?" it shouted in a strangely-masculine not-Igglybufflike-in-the-least voice. "Let go. NOW," he demanded.

Rhino gasped. "A MALE member!"

"What? Member of what? And besides, I'm female."

It seemed as if Rhino's face was now frozen in a state of permanent shock and disgust. She dangled the puffball by its foot, leaving HER to punch the air and babble crap about how she's going to beat her up and such. That odd facial expression was broken by Puffster's strangely-commanding voice.

"Rhino!" The other 'Puff walked into the scene.

"Yes?" Her face changed to normal as her body straightened out.

"First of all, good work on your capture, but next time be prepared for the situation." How many times are Igglybuffs going to run through the nearby trees?

"Capture!?" The word only stirred the Igglybuff even more.

"Yes ma'am!"

"Now, report back to base, and don't let that Pokemon escape."

Puffster set the Igglybuff down on the couch, in front of Private Puff. "Puff, this is Lupo. Lupo, this is Puff. Not that you really need to know that," she remarked. The two only stared for a while. "My work here is done," Puffster stated, and she left the room. Pvt. Puff lightly jabbed Lupo's squishy side.

"Oww! Don't DO THAT," he commanded, placing his arms behind his back.

"And why not?" Puff proceeded to poke his wide-open eye.

"OUCH!!" She gripped it in pain, causing even more pain! "That's it…time for you to DIE!!" What was supposed to be dramatic and cool turned out to be a failure, with the knives on his back now gone. No way…they took my knives? I'm nothing in combat without… Her lower jaw quivered in sorrow, for some reason.

"I'm not dying yet! Silly boy~"

"I keep telling you weirdos, I'm female!" Lupo growled.

Puff gasped, once again. "You sound so different…that I only assumed…"

"It's years of being in the wild that does that to you. I've been surviving in the wilderness longer than you can imagine."

"There are so many flaws in your statement, Lupo! Like how you can talk, how you can recognize a knife, how you're apparently still so weak-"

"Weak!? I could kill you…ten times over!"

"What?"

"See me try! Hooah!" Lupo punched Puff in the stomach, not really damaging anything.

"……..And?"

"That's all I got, uh…" Lupo really didn't plan this far. "Wait for me to see if there's any weaponry over…" While she wasn't looking, Pvt. Puff had run off somewhere! "Guess I can try to escape now," Lupo said with a smirk. She grabbed a wooden ladle mysteriously laying around and proceeded to climb the ten-foot-tall ladder to the world. Unfortunately, she remembered that a giant heavy manhole was covering the exit. "Curse my…urrghh!" She tried to push up against the giant heavy manhole cover, but ended up losing balance and falling down onto the pink plushy carpet.

"Lupo," Puffster said, coming in, "I have already told you, there is no way out. I will keep an eye on you at all times."

"Not when you're blinking, you're not!" I win this one! thought Lupo.

"Then I'll wink." She winked with one eye, then immediately shifted to the other.

"Darnit." Lupo immediately accepted her fate.

"And because I am at level one hundred and possess awesome tracking skills, I will pursue you even when – and IF – you do escape. You'd best act useful or be punished. Go to your room. It's near the end of the hallway, next to the private's."

"Roger?"

Walking towards her new room she thought, What am I DOING here? I don't belong here! My home is in the trees! The forest! And now somebody has taken ME without permission. KIDNAPPING – that's the word. But is escape an option? Oho. I've just hatched a brilliant plan, haven't I? Lupo is genius.

Just wait until you reach level one hundred. Then you may have your revenge, Lupo…

Obviously this plot was not nearly as effective as Lupo would have liked to think. It would take years upon years for a Pokemon of such fail as her to accomplish such status as her new leader…

End of Chapter Four


	5. Chapter Five: PG13! Warning!

Chapter Five: PG-13! Children, Be Warned!

Now that the team had three members that were ready for combat, Puffster decided to go on a mission to Mt. Heaven. They would only go so far as the third floor, for the Pokemon above there might surely kill at least Lupo. Their mission: to find the precious Moon Stone, the item capable of mutating a Jigglypuff to its highest form! These days the stones were incredibly rare, even in caves, so they would have to get lucky on this mission.

Unlike Beach Cave, this cave really WAS dangerous. Whereas Beach Cave was filled with a bunch of wimps, Mt. Heaven was SERIOUS BUSINESS. Its inhabitants were NOT wimps. In fact, they practically lived to fight. It might have been called Heaven, but fierce brawls went on inside of there every day. Heck, this wasn't even fainting; this was BLOOOOOD! GOOOOORE! VIOLENNNNNCE! DEEEEEATH! No wonder even level one hundreds hardly ventured there.

"I heard there's gore, blood, violence and death here!" Lupo said, obviously excited. The new, puffy trio was walking down a grassy hill. "This is gonna be good! By the way, when can I have my knives back? I feel embarrassed using this SILLY ladle." Yes, Lupo still possessed the ladle.

"I loaned them to Rhino," Puffster replied in the usual mellow way. Rhino was holding two butter knives.

"These are butter knives! Why?" She was understandably disappointed.

"Too bad. Hey, we're here." They now stood at the foot of the mountain, a two-mile-high natural wonder. In order to reach the interior, they were forced to travel up the infamous Thin Ledge of Doom. It was so thin and so windy a Graveler could hardly balance atop it! Wait, isn't it normally hard for them to balance? Oh well, who cares. "Off to the Thin Ledge of Doom!"

"Please don't say it like that. It frightens me." Lupo gripped his wooden ladle as tightly as he could.

"And stop failing." Puffster inched along the Thin Ledge of Doom, standing on the tips of her toes. She did it quickly and with no problem, even against gale-force winds. After about a minute she reached the cave's entrance, above where the other two were still standing. "Come up here! Don't just wait!" she howled through the wind.

"Okay…here I go…Lupo…is going…NOW…" After much self-persuasion, the Igglybuf finally edged herself onto the ledge, sweating wildly as the wind struck her face. She just kind of stood there for a little while, then finally kept going…sssllllooooowwwwllllyyyyyyyy.

"Would you hurry up!?!?"

"I'm trying, Puffster!" As she cried, Lupo looked like an overreacting anime character. "I'm trying my hardest!"

"Try harder!"

After twenty long, hard minutes, the Igglybuff FINALLY made it. Puffster punched her in the face upon her arrival. "Ouch! What was that for? I made it, didn't I?"

"You did it too slowly."

By comparison, Rhino arrived in about four minutes. Good, considering this was her first actual mission. "Good work, Rhino," Puffster said, patting her on the back. "Now, to enter the Cavern of Death." If you haven't guessed already, the Cavern of Death was a place where Pokemon died. Without hesitation, Puffster led her troops into the cave.

Blood was smeared down the walls, all over the floor, matted in fur. Ear-splitting screeches came from all angles (even from outside). A Zubat's leg-tail-thing twitched as it lay helpless on the ground in yet another pool of blood. "And you're sure we shouldn't turn back," Lupo asked.

"I thought I made that clear!" Puffster slapped Lupo in the face.

"Ow!"

"Rhino, Lupo! You go left. I will go right. If you get severely injured, just wait outside or call extremely loudly for me." The Jigglypuff ran away, splashing more blood all over the place. Lupo and Rhino shrugged, having no choice but to follow her orders.

Puffster was beating up all of the Pokemon she came across with ease. A colony of Zubats swarmed over her, but through using a series of jump-kicks and drop-kicks she was able to kill them all in under a minute. A Clefable waggled its finger at her, sending a massive wave of water at her. By merely standing still Puffster was able to not only survive, but stand in the same area without budging. She proceeded to sing, but not the prolonged typical "Jigglypuff Song". With a single high note she stopped nearly everything and everyone in their tracks, and was able to easily beat them up afterwards. In the midst of all of this, a lone Tyranitar was able to survive the gory mess. Puffster wiped the blood from her face before proceeding to brawl one-on-one. The green rocky behemoth sent her flying against the wall in one titanic punch, knocking some stalactites onto her in the process. Not to be outdone, the Jigglypuff continuously rolled in place, getting faster and faster with each revolution. Of course, blood also splattered all over the place. The Tyranitar braced himself for the impact, but was nowhere near the defensive level he should have been at. Puffster released her built-up energy and flew directly through Tyranitar's heart, nearly effortlessly killing him. The room was now painted red…with blood.

Meanwhile, Rhino and Lupo were having a hard time being awesome. It was rather hard for Rhino to slice through the approaching wide-mouthed Golbats with butter knifes, and it was also rather hard for Lupo to do any damage at all with his fists alone. Though Rhino was at least fending off enemies, Lupo was being bitten in her tuft of hair, which didn't hurt but left her vulnerable!

"Rhino!" she cried. "My knives!"

"But Puffster said-"

"HAND THEM OVER!!"

Rhino tossed the knives painfully into Lupo's side. Without so much as a grunt, she ripped the bloody things out and cut the Golbat's cornea (their eye)!

"WRRRYYYYYY!" it shouted, pulling away. The Golbat's eye was spurting out blood as it flew away.

More bat Pokemon were closing in on them, and Rhino tried her best to fend them off by kicking. Had there been only a few this would have worked well, but she only had two feet, which were very floppy and took long to kick with. It also looked funny because she was shifting from foot to foot as she kicked.

I have to do something…! Lupo thought the obvious."Ancient Knife Technique: Aka-Nyuurakunaifu Shuhouuuuuuu!!!!!" Her eyes grew a threatening scarlet as her whole body ignited with flaming blood-red aura! She bounced around the room at hyper speed, slicing through bat after bat as she went. Bloody carcasses and bloody remains were scattered around the bloody floor, and blood-covered Rhino watched in amazement while also wiping the blood off of her face. When Lupo finally landed, she too was covered in blood. Lupo shook it off like a Poochyena, wiggling it off to fly around the rest of the room. "Now to find the Moon Stone…"

The two searched the room (but not thoroughly), but didn't find any stones that remotely resembled the Moon Stone, the mineral they said was black as night. All they found were blood-smothered brown rocks. They then proceeded to the next room in the Cavern of Death.

This room was actually dark…and surprisingly scary. Now that Rhino and Lupo knew what it was like to bleed, they were on their toes. As they tiptoed through, Lupo's squishy foot was squeezed by a hand below, and as expected, blood was squeezed out!

"Urghh!" She tried to pull away, but the hand wouldn't let her.

Rhino was slowly regaining vision. "The Nyuurakunaifu!" she shouted, wondering why Lupo wasn't using her ancient technique.

"I'm too tired to use that!"

As Rhino attempted to help her she stepped on some leaves, which revealed a deep pit! Her scream as she fell in made Lupo more uncomfortable than she already was.

"PUFFSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!"

At the sound of her echo, Puffster came in atop a Rapidash, whom she was pulling the fiery mane of. The yellow horse looked quite uncomfortable. Its hair somehow brought light to the cave, revealing that a Graveler had just grabbed Lupo. "And that is all that stopped you?" She bent down and slapped the Graveler's wrist.

"Ow!" the rock monster said, pulling away. The Igglybuff hit the ground face-first, getting blood all over.

"B-but that's not all!" Lupo said, shaking away the blood. "Rhino fell down a hole!"

"Then let me deal with it." Puffster punched Rapidash hard in the forehead, possibly causing some trauma and knocking it out. The two puffy things then leaped down the hole. Lucky for them they were elastic and bouncy, so they enjoyed a soft landing on the hard rock.

Holding some of the Rapidash's hair, Puffster and Lupo could plainly see a bunch of abnormally-sized Tyranitars looming over them. One of them screeched, "YOU KILLED OUR CHIIIILLLLLLLDDD!!!" Lupo cowered in fear and hid behind his leader.

As the angry rock dinosaurs slowly walked over, some tripping and being unable to move, Puffster said in her usual, dictating, calm voice, "This is a perfect opportunity to use my new attack. Have you ever heard of Perish Song, Lupo?"

"Y-y-no…."

"This is two steps further. This is the Death Song. Though I believe our family is impervious to it you'd better close your ear holes, lest you want nightmares." So Lupo did, scampering off somewhere else as Pufftster sang her Death Song.

The first note was a high-pitched screech, barely higher than the average Pokemon's screech. This was followed by a very quick, very low note. She paused for a half second, then continued with another shrill, lower-pitched scream. The very short tune ended with an even higher-pitched yell. You'd have to be an Igglybuff, Jigglypuff or Wigglytuff in order to pull off the song as she could. At the sound of this tune, every Tyrnitar's ears began to spurt blood, fall over and make spastic movements. After a few enjoyable moments (at least for Puffster) of watching them die, Lupo and Puffster were able to safely cross the areas between the rock dinos. Inside of one of their mouths was Rhino! Without the teeth clamping over the exit, she was able to escape!

"The Moon Stone!" She pointed inside of the mouth. "Should I get it?"

"Well, sure," Puffster said, her voice slightly hoarse.

As Rhino ventured inside of the mouth for a few seconds, a flash of light consumed the room! Then she emerged, completely different in appearance and size. She now had rabbit ears, and was about a foot taller than her commander! As if nothing had happened, she handed Puffster the stone, who just stared at her blankly. The Moon Stone itself was beautiful, but if it couldn't evolve her into a Jigglypuff, what use was it?

"…I…..will come back here myself….." She threw the rock in the Wigglytuff's face and walked away puffy-headed.

End of Chapter Five


	6. Chapter Six: The Big Weird THING!

It was an ideal summer day at the beach. The waters flowed calmly, the sand whispered and swayed in the wind, and the Remoraids swam in beautiful patterns just below the surface. All was well with the world. UNTIL! Aquatic Pokemon scattered as a huge hand rose from the depths, trying to grasp the coastline and pull the rest of its body up. The thing stood upright dripping with water, its head nearly reaching Sharpedo Bluff. Blindly it stepped forward, towards the Pelipper Post Office.

"Excuse me," he asked someone, bending down slightly, "where can I-"

"Aaaaahh!" The poor little Pachirisu promptly fainted.

"I don't mean to-" A Furret screeched before scampering off to Treasure Town, and before the thing could have its question asked.

It lifted the roof off of the post office, which resembled the top of a Pelipper's beak. "Does anybody know-"

"SQUAWK!!" The Pelippers fluttered out from the office, scared out of their minds. "UNDER ATTACK!!" one announced.

So the thing went through Treasure town, frightening its residents and scaring them away…

Chapter Six: The Humongous Mysterious THING!

Lupo rushed down the ladder, sweating like crazy. "Good - bad news, ma'am!!" He found Puffster and Rhino relaxing on the couch.

"First of all, I am still surprised at how you can move the manhole cover so easily now. Hopefully you can now do crap," Puffster remarked.

"W-what's that supposed to mean!?" she growled, about to pull out her butter knives.

"Nothing! Nothing."

"But-"

"If you deny my reasoning, consider yourself dead." Lupo gulped. "Second, what is "good - bad news!? Are you thinking straight!? Either it is good, bad or neutral. Choose one."

"Well, then…then decide for yourselves."

"Sit down and explain." Lupo did as she was told.

"Explanation?" Pvt. Puff peeked her head out from the kitchen area. "Can I stop working and hear this!?"

"Sure…"

Lupo finally began to explain. "I didn't get a good look at it, but there was a huge - and I mean HUGE - thing outside, and it wasn't really doing anything to anybody else, but everyone in treasure Town was so scared and afraid and stuff that they just ran away somewhere! And if we defeat it, we could gain the trust of the town!"

"Valid point. We have our second mission, soldiers."

"Can I go this time?" Puff begged, jumping up and down.

"NO. This is a humongous, mysterious THING. We have no idea what it is capable of, what it's after, or anything. We only know it is there. Stay back at the base, make sure there aren't any intruders. Keep cleaning while you're at it." Puff couldn't help but tear up at the thought of her not seeing this "humongous THING". What could it be? Would she ever see it? As the others left through the manhole cover, she sighed and got back to scrubbing the table.

Lupo, Rhino and Puffster arrived at the strangely-silent Apple Woods. It must have been the place where the thing was hiding. After all, why else would it have been so silent? Within the woods were magnificent apple trees, all of their fruit picked by fleeing Pokemon. Walking through it was an oddly-serene experience, where the only sounds were the wind in their ears and the leaves under their feet. They soon found a large clearing, only so because the trees that used to stand in it were now bent and knocked out of their roots. In the center sat a humongous mecha on its knees, its head in its palms. The three were nearly as frightened as everybody else, even Puffster, and wondered why a mechanical object such as that would even sit in that position, let alone exist. The mecha was mostly a polished white with several green areas and stripes, and in this position barely rose above the treetops.

"Maybe we could…reason with it?" Lupo whispered. At the faint sound of her masculine voice the gundam turned its head. The three quickly ducked below some bushes, hoping it wouldn't find them. Puffster held her hand up to her lips, perhaps signaling "quiet". Gundam crawled over to the bushes, making typical massive stomping and rustling sounds. It picked up the Wigglytuff hiding behind them as lightly as it could, squeezing it tightly between two fingers three times larger than her body.

"Ihh…ihhhhh…" Rhino was sweating profusely, her face squishy with both stress and being crushed. What was it going to do to her?

Realizing this one wouldn't struggle and try to get away, Gundam finally got the chance to ask its question. "Excuse me if I'm being rude," Gundam asked, "but is there a mechanic or locksmith or something around here?"

"Ihh…ihhhh…I DUNNO!!! LET ME GO!!!" Rhino wiggled her limbs frantically. Gundam let her go, dropping her about ten feet onto the ground. Luckily she bounced a few times, and received no serious injuries.

"Sorry…" Gundam pulled out Lupo next, obviously leaving the leader to squeeze unintentionally last. "Do you?"

"JUST LET US KILL YOU SO WE CAN BE THE PRIDE OF THE TOWN!!!" Lupo was plainly scared as well, and was also dropped. Gundam wasn't sure whether this was threatening or mildly unsettling.

Lastly was, of course, Puffster. "And-"

"What do you need done?"

Gundam was surprised. Not only was Puffster not sweating, wriggling or squishy-looking, she also spoke in a very calm voice, however mildly unsettling the tone may have been. "I need someone to take me apart."

Here we have a depressed humongous mecha whose only wish is to be taken apart… Weird images popped into Puffster's head, pictures of Gundam being whipped and scorned, somehow sobbing. She shivered not because it was terrible, but because the images were so odd to her. "We could do that for you. Rhino! Lupo!"

"B-but we're the Pink Army, a-and we have other things to tend to!" Lupo complained, getting back onto her feet. Suddenly, she got an idea. "Wait! The humongous mecha could be part of our army!"

"You are forgetting that we only accept our species."

"You have an army?" Gundam asked, just to make sure.

"Yes, but I just said that we only accept our species. Please let me go." Puffster was dropped about twenty feet down, and couldn't help but wince in pain.

"But-" Gundam sighed. "Would you please just take me apart?"

Lupo imagined the words running through his nonexistent mechanical mind, crying crap about suicide and how life is terrible and how everybody ran away from him and such. Rhino might have been brave, but at the sight of Gundam she cowered in fear. Puffster thought Gundam had no real backbone, but she would take it apart anyways, the better to get on Treasure Town's good side. And the better to get a head-start on their invasion...

Gundam stood up as the three bombarded its left leg with attacks. It took about five minutes for them to pound away at the whole leg. The right leg took eight minutes to demolish, even though they had help from the rest of its body falling on top of itself. Crushing the torso into a mechanical pulp somehow only took three minutes…and then came the easy job of the head. "Wait!" Gundam then yelped. "Please go slowly, and I'll explain everything." The trio mumbled to one another and came to a conclusion that it worked for them, even though they had no idea why they would have to do so. They sliced, slapped and drop-kicked layers of the mecha until Rhino slapped something…plastic.

The Wigglytuff gasped. "Plastic!"

"Really." Puffster touched the blue core. "Yes, that's plastic. Just keep attacking metal." Rhino continued to slap with little success.

Soon they had uncovered most of a blue plastic core with glowing white eyes being the only noticeable feature, perhaps until they completed the process. "Please stop," Gundam's core requested, much to Lupo's horror. The Igglybuff shivered and sliced off a bit of her furry tuft. "Now I think I can explain.

"I am Areo, a land Pokemon somehow born with gills, as I have been told. I was abandoned early on and left with the ocean's creatures to take care of me, but I'd always dreamt of going over land. Some of my good friends said they had constructed a suit for me to go on land…but it was a humongous mecha, and naturally I wanted to find a mechanic who could make a different one."

And fear ensues, Lupo thought.

Quickly they chopped away the rest of Areo's metal suit, leaving what appeared to be a Jigglypuff in a blue-tinted plastic ball. Its ears were sticking out from the top. Unfortunately for Areo, her hands and feet were stuck within the core, meaning her only means of transportation were rolling and what-not. "Thank you," she said, her voice now noticeably more Jigglypuff-like, with the exception of the watery sensation it had, whatever that means. "May I join your army? I'd like to explore the world more."

"Sure," the Jigglypuff replied. Before they left, Puffster remembered to leave a note saying "The Pink Army was here! They destroyed the mecha!" taped to a still-standing tree.

A Furret scampered over to Apple Woods, afraid the humongous mecha was after her. She stopped at a clearing, where its parts had been scattered. She found a note taped to the side of a tree, which a Pidgey was about to try and eat.

"Wait! Don't!" The Furret grabbed the note, nearly ripping it off. It read, "The Pink Army was here! They destroyed the mecha!" "Well, that's concrete proof!" Furret exclaimed. She proceeded to run into Treasure Town, alerting the Pokemon of how the mysterious team had destroyed the mecha.

Of course, that team was not mysterious to all…

End of Chapter Six


	7. Chapter Seven: Return of Bilbo!

_THOOMP! THOOMP!_

_Something was attacking the base..._

_THOOMP! THOOMP!_

_Rocks fell from the ceiling of the underground base, one hitting Lupo on the head. "Hunh...?" she whispered as she sat up in her small, purple bed. As she looked up, the Pokemon nearly jumped. Was it an earthquake...?_

_Yes._

Chapter Seven: Return of Bilbo!

From above the Pink Army base were four dragons, four dragons who knew their plan. One of them, a Garchomp, had her palms pressed against the ground as the area around her shook, nearly demolishing part of the base's hallways. She was thin and blue, though not much else was noticeable in the night. Soon there was naught but a humongous pit for them to leap into and infiltrate from, letting the moonlight in. A stunned Lupo stared up at them, amazed but also terrified. There wasn't a super special technique she could pull out without any special conditions. She was practically defenseless in the face of these pseudo-legends, as they were known. Lupo ran away in fear, flailing her arms and yelling, "Intruders, aah!"

One of the dragons literally laughed at his reaction. It was a Dragonite, and she had a deep, hearty voice. "Even with a level one hundred on their side, they couldn't possibly win against us. Could they, now?" the yellow bipedal dragon asked cockily.

"Don't be so sure, Gandalf." A blue, red-winged one stepped slowly forward; a Salamence. "They defeated the humongous mecha and scattered its parts around a clearing. Everyone, move out!" The others nodded, leaping down with a plop but still on their feet.

"Lupo, I-" Pvt. Puff peeked over the corner of the hall and stared straight into the eyes of the red-winged one. Her immediate reaction was almost exactly like Lupo's.

The other dragon wasn't a dragon at all, but more of a monster. He was green and his skin was that of a rock. He was a Tyranitar. Peeking through another doorway not far from the humongous hole, he found a frightened, shivering Rhino. She was holding her covers up below her face, sobbing. Rhino's face just begged forgiveness, but would she get it? "We're just here for your leader. Stop crying."

"B-but-"

"STOP CRYING!!!" he demanded. This made her sob even harder.

"Frodo!" The Garchomp held him back and closed his mouth.

The Dragonite peeked into another room from which she heard what sounded like mechanical breathing, or breathing through something. When the lump under the covers didn't move, she simply continued with the group. Must be a dummy, whatever use that would be when the infiltrators are like us, she thought.

They proceeded until they were in front of Puffster, who was, as usual, calm and composed despite her rampaging feelings on the inside. "I told you, we prefer not to fight. We only use peaceful methods."

"LIAR!!!!!" The Tyranitar pointed at her dramatically.

She nearly gasped. "Frodo! I thought it was you and your dragon gang. But resistance is futile, and I will have to kill you...after you fix our ceiling and pay us for the charges."

"T-the ceiling is not what we're here to discuss!" the Salamence roared. Puffster knew he was Bilbo, and remembered when he was just a pesky little Bagon. Now he was a pesky little Salamene. "We saw your note in the woods. We know you killed that humongous mecha."

"And with the recording Smeagol got just now," Gandolf continued as Garchomp held up a recorder and smiled, "we have concrete proof of what you just implied. Which goes against what you just did two days ago!"

"You know, if you didn't just destroy my ceiling I'd kill you."

"YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR! A SWINDLER! A CHEAT!" Frodo yelled.

"I can do that, you know."

"Cheese!" Smeagol exclaimed for no apparent reason.

Puffster jump-kicked her hard in the chin, sending her crashing into the wall. "You need to pay for that, too.

But she's over level seventy... Bilbo's jaw hung open. Even I've greatly underestimated this Jigglypuff!

"You can't do that to Smeagol! NOBODY DOES THAT TO SMEAGOL!!" Frodo's eyes burned with outrage. "FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE-"

Puffster caught his fist, her other hand behind her back. "Pay or...erm...pay."

"Fine! We'll rebuild it! And pay for it!" The Salamence was sweating like crazy. "Just give us a month! We don't have that kind of money!"

"Rebuild my base. NOW." The four could just see the pure evil brewing in Puffster's eyes, just waiting to get out and murder them.

"Alright!" Smeagol, still recovering from that hit, placed her hands on the ground again, which released some awfully precise lava from the ground. It only struck the area where the ceiling was demolished and the wall behind her. Soon even the random boulders were cleared.

"You have one week to get me one million Poke. Get it to me or DIE."

_To Be Continued in Chapter Eight..._


	8. Chapter Eight: One week to Get Money!

Chapter Eight: One Week to Get Some Money!

The pseudo-legends were at a loss as to how they would produce one million Poke in a mere week. Rescue missions? There was nothing they could do that would provide them with anything but the unreliable "mystery prize", which was usually a Girafarig egg or something else common. Working? There were only a few shops in Treasure Town, and since they only had one or two workers with tents shaped oddly like themselves, they didn't have a shot. Starting their own business? There was an idea, but what business would it be?

"Okay, we've got to get to work, right now," Bilbo commanded, stomping his foot down. They were in the Dragon's Lair, which had now been divided into three forces. Theirs was the Sky Force, meaning whenever they were out on missions - which was rare - the land-faring would leap out of jets and shout "yaaaaah". It was your typical cave, dark and stalactite-y, only there was a refrigerator in the corner, a writing desk at the wall and a chandelier, along with a few other standard household items.

Gandalf slapped down her pencil, as she was at the desk. "We can do that later! I'm writing a story about last mission to enter into the writing competition!"

"No, we can't! We only have one week! Enter the next contest!"

She made a sound as if she were about to say "Why, I nevuh" and pouted sassily. As Bilbo walked away, she continued to write.

Frodo was looking at some trading cards, sitting on a blue leather couch. "Frodo, I haven't the slightest idea why you're looking at those cards right now. Care to answer that?" Bilbo peered over his shoulder.

"When I look at things...they inspire me." The Tyranitar's eyes widened, as if he were doing a dramatic and meaningful scene in a movie.

Bilbo slapped them away with his head. "Are you out of your mind!? Those are Garbage Pail 'Mon, they give you disgusting ideas and not useful ones! You're becoming like Smeagol, and look what she's doing!"

Smeagol was standing in front of a shiny metal toaster, clenching her fists and bending her knees slightly. "What?" she asked. "It hasn't toasted yet."

"Try pressing down on that black bar."

"OHHHH." She did as she was told.

"Now, FINALLY back to the discussion. Basically our only option other than stealing-"

"But stealing is exciting!" the Garchomp yelled.

"-no. We, as dragons, are not stealing. Our only real option is to start a business. The problem is, what's our business to be about?"

"We can sell fish!"

"...Don't be crazy, Smeagol-"

"Yeah, that's a great idea!" Gandalf agreed.

"I-I can't agree or disagree since I'm too busy picking up my cards!" Frodo, sprawled over the cavern floor, reached for his Repulsive Ricky Slugma card, which pictured a green Slugma with crossed eyes.

"T-t-that's murder! W-we can't do that, being the kindly dragons we are! At least, me being the kindly dragon I am. We could make art? Who's with me on this?"

"I-I can keep writing this story?"

"No. Write something different so you can sell it, you silly Dragonite."

"I can paint!" From seemingly out of nowhere, Smeagol held up a framed painting of a beautiful mountainside in the sunset.

Bilbo laughed. "You sure can, Smeagol." The Garchomp frowned. "I can carve!" His snout pointed to a dreadful carving of himself. It had several sharp edges and corners, and the fact that the only areas that were painted were the eyes made it look even creepier.

Gandalf shivered. "I don't think so."

"Hey, I'm the leader of this group, and whatever I say goes. Understood?"

"Y-yeah! Got it!"

"And you, Frodo...WOULD YOU PUT DOWN THOSE FREAKING CARDS ALREADY!?!?" He knocked the cards out of the Tyranitar's hands again. "What artistic talents do you have?" From almost out of nowhere he showed him a crude drawing of a stick figure. "...Fair enough. As long as somebody's gonna buy it. Okay, everyone!" He beat his wings together twice, which made a clapping sound as well as blew some Garbage Pail 'Mon cards under the sofa. "We've gotta work for that million Poke!"

They hastily crafted their wares until they each had a fair bit of items, and the next day they set up shop. They sat at clumsily-carved desks, with titles clumsily written in with faded ink. Somehow they thought this would make their shacks look friendlier. Or something.

A Delibird, a little red-and-white thing who seemed to be holding a bag in one wing, was walking by on his way to the Pelipper Post Office. The first shop that caught his eye was Gandalf's, who requested to have her shop put the closest to Treasure Town. Her desk was marked "Poetry by Gandalf~".

"Hey," Delibird asked in a nasally voice, "by chance can I have some o' your...poetry? Oh, and the name's Bob."

"Sure," the dragon said, trying to sound calm and soothing. "Here, have a look at this one." She handed him a slip of paper that read as follows:

"Stupid

Sometimes things in life are stupid  
Like the guy across the street.  
You know, the one that's stupid.  
And sometimes I want to kill them all.

~Gandalf"

"Uhh...okay...i-is there anything else I could check out?" he said timidly, putting the poetry back.

"If ranting isn't your thing, I've written a haiku! Have a look!"

"The Bluff - A Haiku

There's Sharpedo Bluff.  
I wonder if it were touched  
Would it then draw blood?

~Gandalf"

"Do you have anything that doesn't relate to blood or injury?"

"Of course we do..."

"Flowers

Everybody says that flowers are pretty,  
but I think that trees are prettier.  
And I asked someone,  
and they said I was right!  
I as pretty smart back there, huh?  
In your face!

~Gandalf"

'I-I'm sorry, but I-I don't think I want to buy any of this stuff. 'S just...not my style."

"B-but I'm sure there's something in your style!" Gandalf leaned forward, her hands on the desk. Bob had to back away to avoid being touched. "Here, I wrote something about Delibirds! I'm sure you'll like that!"

"When I'm Bored

When I'm bored,  
I like to think I'm in a winter wonderland,  
throwing rocks at the Delibirds  
and the other Pokemon who live there  
whom I detest so much.

~Gandalf"

Bob sniffled. A tear ran down his face. "It was touching, right?"

"Y-you're a sicko!" Bob sobbed all the way to the next shop, which was Frodo's. He immediately stopped crying, and appeared calm already. "S-so what do you sell? Not more poetry, is it?"

"Of course not! I sell drawings. Want a self-portrait?"

"Do you have any examples of your work?"

Frodo breathed, but then stopped and realized he hardly had any. Turns out he didn't have so much stock. He showed him the image of a stick figure, poorly drawn even by stick figure standards. The lines were much too wiggly for it to even classify.

"No, not interested..." Frodo frowned as he approached Bilbo. The bird looked carefully at his horrid wood carvings. One was a carving of a Kecleon, which hardly resembled the lizard it was supposed to be modeled after. The frills on its tiny head were huge, and the body was out of proportion with its long hind legs and odd curves. Another was of a Piplup, which looked as if it were constructed of cubes rather than spheres, as it should have been. The third and only painted example was of Bilbo himself, which of course only had its eyes painted and was especially freakish. Bob left without a word.

The final shop was, obviously, Smeagol's. "Buy stuff!" she shouted, grinning in a slightly frightening manner. Her yellow eyes struck fear into Bob's poor little heart. He had just come here to buy some art! If only he could have bought fish. If these dragons were selling fish, he'd probably have bought something by now!

Anyways, Bob looked at the painting simply titled "Some Hills". It was a marvelous expressionist painting, showing a vibrant sunset behind wondrous green-and-brown hills. Another was subtly called "A Mountain", the one she'd shown the others the day before. The last painting showcased was titled "A Weird Head in a Desert I Think". The painting featured a man's head being held the air by three sticks with a wiggling mustache. Suddenly Bob noticed that all of the paintings were done in different styles: one was realistic, one was surreal, one was expression. It seemed odd, but Bob was willing to buy.

"Can I have "A Weird Head in a Desert I Think"? How much is it?"

"Oh, it's just...one million Poke." A despicable smile crept up on Smeagol's face, just begging for a close-up. The evil appearance wasn't intended.

"Uh, well, that's just fine, then. Let me have the picture first. I-I'm an honest guy." Smeagol nodded, handing it over. Bob looked at the back of the canvas, which read "Not by Smeagol - don't kill me"! "Wait, this isn't your work?"

"Sorry, I can't really paint but I have a knack for finding stuff on the shore. But nobody's claimed these yet, so why just keep them in some closet for all eternity?"

"...You four sicken me." He threw the painting through her face rather rudely, outraged by this sub-par work. She ripped it off of her neck and sniffed. Was their work really that bad? Should they really have gone with fish instead?

That night they threw their works in the ocean, outraged and saddened by what had transpired earlier. They sat outside by the post office around the campfire, moaning about stuff.

"We should have sold fish instead," mumbled Gandalf. She was promptly "slapped" by Bilbo's head.

"We need to encourage healthy eating habits, meaning less meat and more vegetables," he said, serious and determined as ever.

Frodo was too busy looking at his Garbage Pail 'Mon cards to pay attention. He chuckled at Hurlin' Merlin the Houndour, which was simply a dog-like Pokemon throwing up.

"Ohh...I don't wanna be kicked by Puffster again...what else can we sell?" Smeagol whimpered.

"Blood plasma!"

"...Who was that?" Gandalf wondered aloud.

"I said you could sell blood plasma!" replied the announcer-like voice. From the bushes walked a purple monkey with a permanent toothy grin on his face. Even creepier, the mouth never moved as he spoke, which was weird for any Pokemon even of his own species. "Hello there, I'm John Carl Spokesguy, and I'm here because, say, Garchomp, do you happen to have any...blood plasma on you?"

"I-I-I don't know what blood plasma is!" All of the pseudo-legends were pretty shocked at John Carl's sudden appearance. They were also afraid of his creepy, unmoving, unchanging expression.

He laughed a little. "Well, I should say got any in you! You see, blood plasma is a fluid in your bloodstream, mostly water. But it also contains vital ingredients for your body, such as protein and hormones. I've been looking around for some blood plasma and thought, hey, that Garchomp over there sounds like he's got some blood plasma!"

"I'm female!"

He laughed again. "Well, do you happen to have your medical records with you?"

"W-why yes, I do!" Somehow the power of the Spokesguy made her happy. Is this something they all did? Conveniently she had her records from four days ago with her, which also conveniently listed her blood plasma percentage as "80%". "I have eighty percent blood plasma!" Smeagol cried overenthusiastically.

"That's a little too much for a handsome - I mean lovely Garchomp like you!"

"Heh heh! Thanks, I'm honored." She blushed and put her claws up to her cheek timidly.

"So whaddaya say? I'll pay you one million Poke if you agree to the donation! Sound like more than enough?"

"Actually, it sounds like conveniently just enough!" This sounded oddly more enthusiastic than the last comment.

"It's a done deal!" They shook hands and she was handed a huge gold coin marked "P", which for some stupid reason wasn't marked with a number. Whoever designed those coins must have been stupid. "But I'll be the first to warn ya, it's a very painful process, contrary to what people tell you!"

"Wait, what?"

End of Chapter Eight


	9. Chapter Nine: Sea Friends!

Chapter Nine: Sea Friends: The Best Friends You Could Ever Have!

Puffster was hard at work thinking up of her army's next action, messing with figurines on a game board lit by a table lamp. They didn't yet have enough members to stand much of a chance against the Dragon's Lair, the Jigglypuff knew. She moved a blue piece with a Bagon's head drawn crudely on it back into a cave area. She could make a move in the forests, towards the Ninjask-marked Ninja Army, but however weak a single Ninjask may be, a swarm could be deadly. The Torchic Temple was a new group that had potential, but many more members than their "army". And the Pink Club...besides the fact that she didn't want to think about them, they weren't much of a threat.

Maybe before they could really get into the fray they needed a weapon, a weapon other teams wouldn't have. Of course she was a Jigglypuff whose song could murder, but what if that should fail? At best her other soldiers were incompetent in the face of danger, and she remembered the events of Heaven's Pillar. They even ran away from intruders a few days back!

Something came to mind...and that was Areo's humongous mecha. If the Pokemon just under the water could do that, had that potential, imagine what destruction they could cause and how the other Pokemon would soon be under their command!

The next day, Puffster and Areo went out to the calm, serene beach. Almost immediately Areo recalled the great times she'd had underwater. Would times be better on land? "Areo," Puffster commanded, "you are to ask your fishy friends down there if they can construct a war machine of sorts, and if they don't agree to it, see to it that they do anyways."

"Isn''t that cruel?" Areo replied, her voice a bit shaky.

"It's the real world, and the world that you'll be in now that you've joined the Pink Army." She looked around for a second, half hoping that somebody might have overheard her saying that. Truth be told she may have been serious and calm on the outside, but inside she was excited, and eagerly awaited the day when Treasure Town feared her every word. By the time she'd looked back, Areo had already rolled into the waters, below the shores. Puffster shrugged and proceeded to town, thinking about what she should buy with that million Poke she got from the Dragon's Lair.

Several miscellaneous sea things floated and bobbed around in the green-tinted waters. Among the rocks swam blue-striped Remoraid, who stared with wide eyes. One chirped a strange, echoey cry in response to her coming. All chirping the exact same chirp, a bunch of other Remoraids followed him as they latched onto the plastic. After a second they backed away, somehow sending telepathic message with every chirp now.

"Areo?" one said, telepathically of course. "What happened to the humongous mecha we made you? That was more than just a project, you know!"

"Maybe you put it away somewhere for safe keeping? You have a house now, right?" another inquired.

"A-actually," she replied shakily and telepathically, "it broke apart, and...now it's beyond repair."

The Remoraids paused, then began sharing frantic chirps with one another. After another, abrupt pause one said, opening and closing his mouth slowly, "IT TOOK US TWO YEARS TO MAKE THAT!!!"

"Get her!" They made a battle chirp (one which was completely identical to their standard chirps, only stretched out slightly) before swimming into the plastic shell.

"But you don't understand! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME EXPLAIN!?" She directed her plastic ball downwards, to the dark depths of the ocean...but she wasn't planning on meeting and learning surprising facts about the animals that live there. Where the water was so murky one could barely see a silhouette Areo turned around and headed backwards, back to the surface. Maybe when the Remoraids found her there they would be stranded on land, unable to attack very well.

A long five minutes later the fishies leaped onto the sand, forcing her to roll backwards an inch. "CHARGE!!" a fishie cried as they proceeded to wiggle in place. After a few moments they began panting telepathically, unable to chirp out of the water.

"And now that you're trapped in a position in which you need assistance to be mobile," Areo began, "I can explain why the humongous mecha was destroyed.

"It was too hard to take off."

"...Did that really deserve that much dramatic impact? I mean, we all expected something...longer, didn't we?" The other Remoraids nodded as much as possible.

"Well, I guess we can forgive you, but just please push us back into the water. We could die, you know," said another.

"Before I do, I have another favor to ask of you, and I also ask you do it as soon as possible. Would you please make me another humongous mecha?"

The Remoraids argued amongst themselves, only this time Areo could hear their jumbled thoughts and conversations. "You're just being a bratty child!" one shouted. "But it's either death, or a humongous mecha...it's going to take another two years, you know. But after this one you'd better pay us back again!" The last time they made her a humongous mecha she paid them back with...some sand. They were so gullible. "AND THIS TIME WE'RE TAKING GRASS, NOT THAT STUPID SAND STUFF!!!"

"Okay! But I'll repay you after you make that, since I can't grab things right now. And you'll have to do it by next December."

"ONE YEAR!?!?"

"Hey, it's either that or death." She smiled and shrugged.

There was more loud mumbling amongst the fishies. "Alright," one noticeably-feminine-sounding Remoraid said. "W-we're not your friends any more, you got that?"

"Oh, um...okay." So did leaving her old home mean leaving her old friends? Hopefully it was in favor of an unforgettable experience. "But by the way, I'm under command of someone else."

"Yeah, right. Even if that's true, only idiots would succumb to peer pressure, and we don't like **idiots.**"

"Yeah, and only you can prevent forest fires. Now, please let us live."

Areo slowly pushed them back in and, to her surprise, heard some "Whee"s coming from the crowd. She'd never noticed how immature her sea friends really were. But now that she was a member of the Pink Army, she supposed discarding friends in favor of power was life.

_End of Chapter Nine_


	10. Chapter Ten: How Far for the Seventh?

Chapter Ten: How Far Would She Go for the Seventh Member?

Having sent Areo into the ocean to get work started on their war machine, Puffster was free to do some shopping with the Poke she'd gotten from Smeagol's blood plasma donation. It was just a shiny gold P-marked coin, yet somehow she knew it equaled one million Poke. But how was she so sure? If every coin looked alike, how was everyone in town able to differentiate so easily? "Instinct?" she mumbled to herself, walking down the yellowish-greenish path to Treasure Town.

As she made her way to the Kecleon Shop, two Pokemon caught her eye: an Igglybuff and a shiny Nidorino. Igglybuff alone were uncommon in those parts, but to find a [b]shiny[/b] Pokemon was one in a million! He was a blue, thorned creature who looked like something of a cross between a bunny and a kaiju*. They may have looked pretty, but had no extra prowess in battle as far as she was concerned. Immediately she approached the Igglybuff saying, "Hi, would you be interested in something...secret?"

"I-it depends," the Pokemon replied in a noticeably-masculine voice. It was more subdued and shaky than Lupo's, but had the same basic feel. "What is it?"

"And can I join?" the Nidorino butted in. He sounded dull and teenaged, laying down on his legs.

"No." Puffster then whispered to the Igglybuff, "There's going to be a party tomorrow night. It's just under the manhole cover at Sharpedo Bluff. Will you be there?"

"If I can bring Ben."

_We need a new member!_ she thought. _But is preparing a party too much trouble? No, I have a million Poke. And I **am** level one hundred...but as much as I despise other species...but I can't let him leave the party, he could tell others! Oh, fine, let him in._ "Fine, bring...Ben. As long as you're coming..." She looked around, then ran away. The other Pokemon glanced at each other before heading for the western forests.

For some reason Puffster had remembered, somewhere dark, deep and secluded in her mind, the perfect place to get party supplies. That place was The Pond, a large store built like an actual mall, unlike those flimsy weird tents other shop owners put up. The sign was big, blue and curved, possibly made to attract a hip, young and with-it crowd. Much to her surprise the door was automatic, and slid open as she stepped on the warm and fuzzy mat.

Inside were rows and rows of miscellaneous stuffs. Some rows had pinatas shaped like smiley faces, while the next may have electronics, the next music and albums. Before roaming the shiny white aisles she'd decided to consult the guy at the front desk, Whiscash. To be exact, he was in a tank lining the walls and below the floor. It gave some customers the paranoid feeling that he was always watching them, but not her. Whiscash was a jolly big catfish, dark blue with long yellow whiskers. His eyes were always eager and wide, for no apparent reason. He was probably born like that.

"Excuse me, what would be the best party materials for a generic teenage party?" she asked. Puffster wondered how he would be able to hear through the plexiglas.

From somewhere below he came, smiling widely. "Welcome to The Pond, and if you're wondering why this place exists it's because we didn't generate enough money just giving advice, but we still do that. But about your question. From what I hear, generic teenage parties involve DJs playing and scratching records on turntables, flashing multicolored lights on the wall, beer, sometimes drugs and even the unspeakable act."

"Unspeakable act?" Puffster forgot what the "unspeakable act" was. But then she remembered. "Oh, right. The unspeakable act. I thought drugs were illegal, do you really sell them here?"

"Yeah, we just call them medical and the police buy it. I honestly think that the police systems here are the most lax in the universe, though, seeing as now Rescue Teams are on the rise." He sighed.

Puffster burst through the manhole saying, "We're setting up a party! Get ready!"

"A party!?" Lupo said, quite surprised by this sudden entry. He slammed the pink fridge shut. "But that's so unlike you. And what are we celebrating?"

"Nothing! We're just having a party!" She tossed down several turntables, records, alcoholic drinks and colorful lights. Rhino, as if demanded, caught them and set them down lightly by the couch.

"First the Remoraids, now this..." Areo was on the couch, drying off within a yellow towel. "When **is** the party?"

"We're having it tonight."

"**TONIGHT!?!?**" they shouted in unison.

"No arguments, no questions! Discuss amongst yourselves the correct slang and what-not. Anybody who has anything important to say, meet me in my office. And you had better set up the materials correctly, or I will see to it that you never do it again." She glared at them before slamming the steel door to her nearby office.

"A party?" Pvt. Puff finally exclaimed. She'd been busy dusting off the books on the bookcases, and stopped at Lupo's _Mars Volume Five_ to talk. "I'd love to have a party here! I've never been in one before, let alone host one in my very own home!"

"Yeah..." Rhino muttered, nodding slightly.

"And I've never had a party _over_water before," said Areo.

Apparently Puffster had very acute hearing. "You're not in the party, Areo! You're too abnormal!" she yelled, voice muffled through the door.

"Yeah, but come on! We've only got a few HOURS to set everything up! And just look at these records!" With her nubby hands Lupo picked up one record. "Fuzz Power! I highly doubt this is a good record."

Rhino and Pvt. Puff began shoving the turntable into place on the wall. Being Puffster's children they were going to make the best out of this party. Soon Lupo joined in, pushing fancy curtains against the entrance to the other rooms. Areo, saddened that she couldn't do anything, rolled to her room.

And then...it was finished.

Lights of almost every color flashed and sped along the walls. Rhino was content manning the turntables, which played a repetitive yet catchy tune that blasted the stereo. Puffster was the bartender, keeping not only alcohol but illegal drugs behind the counter. At one point Areo literally begged to do something, anything at the party. They used her as a disco ball, shining lights through her spherical containment. Puffster called it an ironic hell.

The only two really partying were Pvt. Puff and Lupo. Lupo was slouched over in an orange beanbag chair, bored out of her wits. The other Igglybuff was dancing rather oddly, shifting from foot to wiggly foot. The way she moved was just a repetitive animation, one that was tiresome to watch.

To almost everyone's surprise, the manhole cover moved. Before Rhino could stop the music Puffster welcomed, "Welcome!"

Another Igglybuff and a blue Nidorino climbed down, looking around.

"Well? How is it?"

"You...really don't have many Pokemon here, do you?" the Igglybuff said, disappointment in his voice.

"Looks boring. Let's get out of here," his friend Ben suggested.

"Wait!" Pvt. Puff shouted, almost without thinking. She grabbed the other Igglybuff's round shoulders desperately.

"Get off!" The Pokemon sounded stressed out as it pushed her away. Before they could get onto the ladder again, Pufftster swiftly replaced the manhole cover and put herself in the way.

"Wait."

There was evil in her voice, and immediately the two felt scared. But who could they turn to, now that they were trapped inside?

"Everyone! Stop the music and keep on the fancy lights."

"Why the fancy lights?" Lupo questioned.

"Because I like them. You, tell me your name or die."

"B-bo," the Igglybuff's voice rattled. He stepped down from the ladder shivering.

"You have just stepped into the Pink Army." At the word "pink" everyone in the room looked at Ben. "As you may have guessed, this party was all just a ploy of ours-"

"No, it was just yours."

"**Shut up, Lupo!**" she growled. "Anyways, now that we have you right where we want you, you two will be under my command. I am a level one hundred, and disobedience means death. Understood?" They nodded. "And you should be lucky that I give you your own rooms. Come with me..."

As they walked through the curtains and into the hall, the army got to work putting the party materials into the closet, which was nearly indistinguishable from the wall itself. They wondered about Bo and Ben, about how their new comrades would affect their group, but none said a word but Lupo. "I dunno, I kind of liked Fuzz Power."

But they forgot about Areo, who had to stay on the ceiling for the whole night. Maybe staying in the sea was a better idea?

_End of Chapter Ten_

* Kaiju means "strange beast" in Japanese. Used to describe Godzilla and other giant monsters.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Valley of the Diglett 1!

Chapter Eleven: Valley of the Diglett, Part One!

"We're going to the Valley of the Diglett," she announced. Puffster was standing on the stage of her newly-dug Meeting Room, built mostly by Rhino. It resembled an auditorium, but rockier.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?" Lupo was appalled by the look of it. He was sitting in one of the front-row seats, which was very uncomfortable to sit in.

"What, that's it? This is our first mission?" Ben leaned forward in his chair.

"Correction: it is **your** first mission and Areo's as well." She looked around. "Areo?"

"Oh, umm, I forgot to take her down," Private Puff admitted, nervous.

"She's been there all night. An army marches on its stomach as a wise Basch once said. ...What are you waiting for? **GO DO IT!!!**"

"Yes, ma'am!" She scurried off to the living room.

Bo raised his nubby hand. "I'll help."

"Fine, but do not think that if you get on good terms with me I will let you go."

"I just think it would be hard for her to do it alone..." Bo followed suit.

"And as soon as we get Areo down, it's off to the valley."

"Right away?" Lupo asked.

"Of course. I don't pay you for nothing."

"You don't pay us anything!" Rhino ventured to say.

"_Anyways..._this is a crucial mission. Several Pokemon have been lost and killed in this mysterious valley. No 'mon has returned. If we go and make our name, they will look up to us. Not just those in the town. This is on a _global_ scale. Failure is not an option! Agreed?"

"Yeah."

"Yes!"

"No! But I'll do it if you force me to!"

Areo rolled in, her ball bubbling with heat and fury. "If you do that again I will kill."

"Now for the mission." Puffster pushed the soldier out of the way.

"Wha?"

"Charge! Charge!" A round, cloaked figure repeatedly whipped a massive blue dinosaur with a handy shell, which she was standing on along with a bunch of other cloaked, mostly round figures. Her voice was surprisingly masculine and deep. You might have guessed she was a Jigglypuff, but never would you suspect her to be Puffster. Maybe you would someday, but the point is she had a relatively good disguise.

The Lapras sobbed loudly to himself, his neck imprinted for a few minutes with the scars of this day. A long few minutes. He sadly dropped them off at shore, and they promptly got off. He'd thought of dumping them in the water, but Jigglypuff were inflatable, right? And killing the one who so obviously was _not_ of the Jigglypuff clan seemed pretty useless.

The shore they came to was a regular scenic sandy beach, only directly behind it was a craggy brown cave. Near its entrance was an old sign saying "DANGER! Diglett Ahead". Not even the little Pidgeys fluttering around, who were for some reason incapable of thinking anywhere beyond what an average pigeon of Earth would think, dared venture into the cave. It looked so dark, so despairing. _Great,_ the cloaked Lupo thought, _another cave. Three actual missions and two of them are caves. Wait, it's a valley...but a cave. Valley. Cave. Er?_

When they were sure only the Pidgeys were looking, they removed their cloaks and walked inside. It was darkness everywhere they looked, except for Areo's oddly-glowing eyes, which served no purpose other than to lure enemies toward them before she replaced her cloak. The stalagmites kept stabbing into their feet, and Bo once couldn't help but scream loudly, and even after a "Sorry" he felt a cold glare from Puffster.

They walked a long while without hearing anything strange. At some point in their walk a ray of light spewed through a hole in the cave wall. Rhino looked at it oddly and Lupo shouted "Light!" and luckily attracted no enemies. Then there was more light. Scattered holes became guiding pathways. Areo could remove her cloak. And then in the light they found...a Diglett.

It popped up somewhere not far ahead, poking out of the ground inquisitively. "DIGLETT," it chirped dimwittedly. The Diglett was a charming creature, appearing to be nothing more than that mole in the arcade machine. Either you would feel guilty for whacking it with a mallet after taking a second to admire its shining black eyes, or whack it even more with a quick glance at its huge red nose.

But the thing that annoyed everybody the most about this creature, what far outweighed its dumb charm, was the fact that _you could not see its entire body_. Under there it could look like a plain old mole. There could be nothing. Perhaps a bodybuilder's physique. Maybe a terrifying embodiment of horror which must never be seen or spoke of, for the very mention of anything else might kill the speaker? Whatever it may be, chances are it would bother the hell out of anyone you ask.

Lupo gasped. "A Diglett!" She was about to go pet the lovable mole when Rhino grabbed her by the arm.

"Didn't you read the signs?" Puffster growled through her teeth, which were small and barely noticeable behind her lips. "DIGLETT ARE DANGER."

"But I can hardly resist...I just want to know what its lower half looks like. YOU want to know that, RIGHT?"

"Huh. Good point. But it is not a task for you to attempt, for you are weak under the wrong circumstances. Let me handle it." Puffster stepped forward and quickly grabbed Diglett's round head. She tried with all her might to lift it up out of the ground, and the rest of the team joined in...but to no avail. One thing was clear: whatever was under there was either huge or heavy. Or both.

"DIGLETT." It ducked below the ground once more and crawled away - probably - through a tunnel.

"You sure they're dangerous? I could take them in one shot." Lupo revealed her butter knife.

"I think she knows what we should be doing," Bo said, and they kept going.

At last, they were out of the cave and in the valley! Steep gray mountains (which they didn't notice before) stood majestically at either side, and between were awesome green grasses.

"So wait, how could Digletts live _here?_" Ben ventured to ask.

"Why do you expect me to know?" Puffster snapped. "Digletts are too stubborn and stupid to show themselves or say anything about their lives."

They walked, and walked, and walked, and attempted to gnaw on some grass, and walked, and walked, and, and, and -

"RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

_To Be Continued..._


End file.
